MUSIC TRACK REVIEW – Songs I love, and why. A Ghost in the Corner of Your Eye by Jeniferever


Artist:  Jeniverever

Song:  A Ghost in the Corner of Your eye from the album Choose a Bright Morning

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For me this song captures REGRET beautifully,

How often do we ignore what is right in front of us NOW?  How much have I missed? I often ask myself this, even knowing I am powerless to give a satisfactory answer by the very nature of the inquiry…Time moves in one direction and we are caught on the spear tip of its momentum (quite literally it feels like sometimes)

How we cling desperately to someone or something in our past…We grant such primacy to something that for all intents and purposes doesn’t exist anymore, except as persistent thought in the stubborn mind that obsesses about it.  Everyone of sane and capable mind does this; it seems the universal condition to bemoan the past and waste so much of our vital mental processes on the useless fantasy of an alternate future that isn’t so and could never be otherwise, NOW.

We hang on to the fading after-image of such a bright and glorious memory, spotted briefly on the periphery of sense and thought, but it’s really nothing more than a ghost in the corner of our eyes*…so far gone.  This memory, this regret…it is willing to stop causing us such pain if we let go of it, and what do we do instead? We hold on until our hands our bruised and bleeding, until the nails are broken off, the skin and muscles of our once strong hands cut into ribbons, and all we had to do was let go!

We are creatures of habit and perpetual repetition…but we insist; we demand that it used to be soooo much better, more pure and incorruptible, more dynamic and original, better than anything we’ve had before or ever will.  This relationship, this friendship, this great love, this one time event, this whatever that could have been different or better trumps it all…some of us realize that we didn’t really appreciate it until it’s out of our reach…perhaps we negotiate with our own heart and come to a compromise that seems worthy, a bargain with fate should it deem to be conscious of our whim and be merciful, and we plead that the down-payment of this pain we offer that we feel will endure until the end of time, should provide the recompense to change our life to how it used to be; a dream that “This time it would be totally different.”

…but it’s really gone and we are only deluding our self, because no amount of tears, sweat, or blood can eliminate true regret; there is no depth of heart or soul in a human that can untie the bonds of the past we wrap around ourselves with, the mistakes, the missteps, the miscalculations of an incalculable situation…she won’t be back…he won’t return…the moment is gone…so we are forced to deal with this perceived massive evil, this entrenched pain, one that’s only solution appears to be somewhere on the very edge of our memory, lost in this giant space where we still imagine some sort of reconciliation can be achieved.  Surely it will kill us if it doesn’t change, yet we don’t die.  Surely we will go mad, yet we maintain some semblance of sanity, despite believing we have been wholly undone…

So what can we do?

I submit that we must grow as an individual to help prevent or at least blunt this pain, we must develop free of all ‘others’ influences that would otherwise pull the strings of fate on our existence, even those most important to our life.  We must evolve from whatever state we were abandoned in, find a strength, a principle, a value to uphold and instill deep in us, something non-negotiable, a quality that cannot be weakened by the folly of others.  Or if we are to be justly blamed for this fallout in the first place, then whatever it was in our mind/heart that caused us to reject and abandon that other person’s great value and betray our own character, our own identity…well, we must kill it.  We must conquer it.  We must replace it with something better, we must fix it and we must do whatever it takes to change that flaw. What will we lose if we don’t?  Well, what great moments pass us by every day that we miss, too mired in the deep swamp of regret? How many beautiful faces are blended into nothing by our pained indifference? What glorious smile, drowned in a sea of frowns because of our own skewed focus do we lose forever?  What great words are lost in the static and noise of our non-existent broadcast of a past that can’t harm us anymore, if we just decided it simply lacked the power.

That’s what it’s really about isn’t it?  What do you have to offer to anyone right now, alone in a dark room, all by yourself?  What could you offer to anyone standing outside of it, waiting for you to open the door and have the light shine on your face once more, grant you the oxygen you need to speak the words once again that you once knew the meaning of, have the warmth of the sun once again fill you with new life. What do you have to offer when all of the lights come back on and the only thing between that new you and that new her, or that new him IS YOU? Knowing that your words must carry the weight of all your future promises, can you start again, this time free from ghosts?

Lyrics:

Has it ever crossed your mind,
That this is just where you might end,
That the last steps you take,
Could be where you took your first.
That the nights you spent forgetting,
About in which city you were in,
That they could be as bright as your memories,
Will ever get.
That they could be as bright as your memories,
Will ever get.

We are surrounded by these relics,
Of a life that,
A life that no longer exists.
There are images of past days by ever crossing.
There’s a ghost in the corner of your eye,*
No matter how hard they shut.
Has it ever crossed your mind,
That this is just where you might end,
That the last steps you take,
Could be where you took your first.
That the nights you spent forgetting,
About in which city you were in,
That they could be as bright as your memories,
Will ever get.

So could we go to,
Where no-one ever leaves you laying.
Could we head for some place,
Where everything happens for a reason.

The scenery of somewhere else.
I wish things were that simple,
That leaving solves everything.
That departing covers mistakes you’ve made,
The wrong turns you took years ago,
That leaving solves everything.
The scenery of somewhere else.
I wish things were that simple,
That leaving solves everything.
That departing covers mistakes you’ve made,
The wrong turns you took years ago,
That leaving solves everything.

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